Lesson 12 Explore 4: Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Break Up Families or Build Them Up?
As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we work to build up families, both our own and those of our neighbors. We respect God as the Creator of the family arrangement.
(Genesis 2.21-24: So Jehovah God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man she was taken.” That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
(Ephesians 3.14, 15: For this reason I bend my knees to the Father, to whom every family in heaven and on earth owes its name.)
In the Bible, he teaches principles that have helped people around the world to have marriages that are strong and happy.
How Jehovah’s Witnesses Promote Strong Families
We do our best to follow the Bible’s counsel, since this helps us become better husbands, wives, and parents.
(Proverbs 31.10-31: Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far more than that of corals. Her husband trusts her from his heart, And he lacks nothing of value. She rewards him with good, not bad, All the days of her life. She obtains wool and linen; She delights to work with her hands. She is like the ships of a merchant, Bringing her food in from afar. She also rises while it is still night, Providing food for her household And portions for her female servants. She sets her mind on a field and buys it; She plants a vineyard from her own labors. She prepares herself for hard work, And she strengthens her arms. She sees that her trading is profitable; Her lamp does not go out at night. Her hands seize the distaff, And her hands take hold of the spindle. She extends her palm to the lowly one, And she opens her hands to the poor. She does not worry about her household because of the snow, For her whole household is clothed in warm garments. She makes her own bed covers. Her clothing is of linen and purple wool. Her husband is well-known in the city gates, Where he sits among the elders of the land. She makes and sells linen garments And supplies belts to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and splendor, And she looks to the future with confidence. She opens her mouth in wisdom; The law of kindness is on her tongue. She watches over the activity of her household, And the bread of laziness she does not eat. Her children rise up and declare her happy; Her husband rises up and praises her. There are many capable women, But you—you surpass them all. Charm may be false, and beauty may be fleeting, But the woman who fears Jehovah will be praised. Give her the reward for what she does, And let her works praise her in the city gates.)
(Ephesians 5.22-6.4: Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife just as the Christ is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, wives should also be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for it, in order that he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word, so that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor, without a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.” This sacred secret is great. Now I am speaking about Christ and the congregation. Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband. Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous. “Honor your father and your mother” is the first command with a promise: “That it may go well with you and you may remain a long time on the earth.” And fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of Jehovah.)
(1 Timothy 5.8: Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.)
The wisdom found in the Bible helps even mixed-belief families to succeed.
(1 Peter 3.1, 2: In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands, so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect.)
Consider these expressions from non-Witnesses whose mates became Jehovah’s Witnesses:
• “Our first six years together were filled with quarrels and frustration. After Ivete became one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, though, she was more loving and patient. The changes that she made saved our marriage.”—Clauir, from Brazil.
• “I objected when my husband, Chansa, began to study the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses, because I thought that they break up families. Since then, I have come to see that the Bible actually helped our marriage.”—Agness, from Zambia.
In our ministry, we show our neighbors how applying wisdom found in the Bible can help them to
• Select a marriage mate wisely
• Survive the first year of marriage
• Deal with in-laws
• Manage money
• Stop arguing
• Learn how to forgive
• Train children
Does conversion bring conflict in a marriage?
Admittedly, sometimes it does. For example, a 1998 report by the research company Sofres found that 1 out of 20 marriages in which only one mate was a Witness had serious problems when that one converted.
Jesus foretold that those who follow his teachings would at times suffer family strife.
(Matthew 10.32-36: “Everyone, then, who acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father who is in the heavens. But whoever disowns me before men, I will also disown him before my Father who is in the heavens. Do not think I came to bring peace to the earth; I came to bring, not peace, but a sword. For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Indeed, a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.)
Historian Will Durant notes that under the Roman Empire, “Christianity was charged with breaking up the home,” and some of Jehovah’s Witnesses face the same charge today. Does this mean, though, that the Witness causes the discord?
CAPTION: European Court of Human Rights
When ruling on the accusation that Jehovah’s Witnesses break up families, the European Court of Human Rights said that non-Witness family members often cause conflict by refusing “to accept and to respect their religious relative’s freedom to manifest and practise his or her religion.” The Court added: “This situation is common to all mixed-belief marriages and Jehovah’s Witnesses are no exception.”
Even when faced with religious intolerance, though, Jehovah’s Witnesses strive to follow the Bible’s counsel: “Return evil for evil to no one.... If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men.”
(Romans 12.17, 18: Return evil for evil to no one. Take into consideration what is fine from the viewpoint of all men. If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men.)
Why Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they should marry only within their religion
The Witnesses heed the Bible’s instruction to marry “only in the Lord,” that is, to marry a person who shares their faith.
(1 Corinthians 7.39: A wife is bound as long as her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep in death, she is free to be married to whomever she wants, only in the Lord.)
This command is both Biblical and practical. For example, a 2010 article in the Journal of Marriage and Family said that “couples in which partners share common religious affiliations, practices, and beliefs” tend to have higher quality relationships.
However, the Witnesses do not encourage those who belong to their faith to separate from a marriage mate who is not a Witness. The Bible says: “If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is agreeable to staying with him, let him not leave her; and if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.”
(1 Corinthians 7.12, 13: But to the others I say, yes, I, not the Lord: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is agreeable to staying with him, let him not leave her; and if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.)
Jehovah’s Witnesses abide by this command.
[End of article.]