Lesson 41 Explore 1: What Does the Bible Say About Living Together Before or Without Marriage?
The Bible’s answer
The Bible says that God’s will is for people to “abstain from sexual immorality.”
(1 Thessalonians 4.3: For this is the will of God, that you should be holy and abstain from sexual immorality.)
As used in the Bible, the term “sexual immorality” includes adultery, homosexual acts, and sex between a man and a woman who are not married.
Why does it matter to God whether couples marry or not?
• The marriage arrangement comes from God. He instituted it when he brought the first human couple together.
(Genesis 2.22-24: And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man she was taken.” That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
He did not intend for a man and a woman to live together without the commitment of marriage.
• God knows what is best for humans. He designed marriage to be a permanent union between a man and a woman that would benefit and protect all family members. Consider a simple illustration. Just as the instructions that come from the manufacturer show you how to assemble a piece of furniture correctly, God’s instructions tell us how to build successful family relationships. God’s standards always benefit those who follow them.-
(Isaiah 48.17, 18: This is what Jehovah says, your Repurchaser, the Holy One of Israel: “I, Jehovah, am your God, The One teaching you to benefit yourself, The One guiding you in the way you should walk. If only you would pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river And your righteousness like the waves of the sea.)
CAPTION: A manufacturer’s instructions show you how to assemble a piece of furniture. God’s instructions tell us how to build a successful family
• Sex outside of marriage can have serious consequences. For example, it can result in unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional turmoil.
• God gave men and women the ability to procreate by means of sex. God views life as sacred, and the ability to procreate is a precious gift. God wants us to treat that gift with respect by honoring his arrangement for marriage.-
(Hebrews 13.4: Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.)
What about living together before marriage to test compatibility?
The key to a successful marriage is not a preliminary “trial period” during which either partner can freely leave. Instead, relationships thrive when both partners are strongly committed to each other and work together to overcome problems. Marriage strengthens commitment.-
(Matthew 19.6: So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”)
How can couples build a strong marriage?
There are no perfect marriages. However, couples can build a successful marriage by applying the Bible’s advice. Here are some examples:
• Put the needs of your mate ahead of your own.-
(1 Corinthians 7.3-5: Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control.)
(Philippians 2.3, 4: Do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with humility consider others superior to you, as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.)
• Cultivate love and respect for each other.-
(Ephesians 5.25: Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for it,)
(Ephesians 5.33: Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.)
• Learn to control your speech.-
(Proverbs 12.18: Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, But the tongue of the wise is a healing.)
• Be patient and quick to forgive.-
(Colossians 3.13, 14: Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Just as Jehovah freely forgave you, you must also do the same. But besides all these things, clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.)
[End of article.]