Lesson 42 Explore 4: Honor “What God Has Yoked Together”—Mark 10:9 | Study
Honor “What God Has Yoked Together”
“What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”-
(Mark 10.9: Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”)
SONGS: 131, 132
HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER?
• Jehovah and Jesus share what view about marriage?
• What is the only Scriptural basis for divorce, but why might some decide not to divorce?
• One who is considering separation should weigh what advice?
1, 2. Hebrews 13:4 should move us to do what?
DO YOU enjoy honoring Jehovah? Certainly you do! He merits your honor and promises to honor you in return.
(1 Samuel 2.30: “‘That is why the word of Jehovah the God of Israel is: “I did indeed say that your house and the house of your forefather would always walk before me.” But now Jehovah declares: “It is unthinkable, on my part, because those honoring me I will honor, but those despising me will be treated with contempt.”)
(Proverbs 3.9: Honor Jehovah with your valuable things, With the firstfruits of all your produce;)
(Revelation 4.11: “You are worthy, Jehovah our God, to receive the glory and the honor and the power, because you created all things, and because of your will they came into existence and were created.”)
He also wants you to show honor on a human level, such as to government officials.
(Romans 12.10: In brotherly love have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another, take the lead.)
(Romans 13.7: Render to all their dues: to the one who calls for the tax, the tax; to the one who calls for the tribute, the tribute; to the one who calls for fear, such fear; to the one who calls for honor, such honor.)
But there is a personal area in which you especially need to show honor. That is in marriage.
2. The apostle Paul wrote: “Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement.”
(Hebrews 13.4: Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.)
Paul was not making a mere casual observation. Rather, that text was directing, yes urging, Christians personally to esteem marriage, to view it as precious. Is that your view of marriage in general and particularly of your own marriage if you have a mate?
3. What important advice about marriage did Jesus give? (See opening picture.)
3. In honoring marriage, you are in the best of company. Jesus honored marriage. When the Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce, he referred to what God had said regarding the first marriage: “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother, and the two will be one flesh.” Jesus added: “What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”-Read
(Mark 10.2-12: And Pharisees approached, intent on testing him, and they asked whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. He answered them: “What did Moses command you?” They said: “Moses allowed the writing of a certificate of dismissal and divorcing her.” But Jesus said to them: “Out of regard for your hard-heartedness, he wrote this commandment for you. However, from the beginning of creation, ‘He made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother, and the two will be one flesh,’ so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.” When they were again in the house, the disciples began to question him about this. He said to them: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if ever a woman after divorcing her husband marries another, she commits adultery.”)
(Genesis 2.24: That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
4. Jehovah set what standard for marriages?
4. Jesus thus agreed that marriage is of divine origin and stressed its permanence. God did not tell Adam and Eve that marriage could be ended by divorce. The standard set in that Edenic marriage was monogamy, “the two” being joined together in a lasting union.
TEMPORARY CHANGES FOR MARRIAGE
5. What effect does death have on the marriage union?
5. You know, however, that Adam’s sin brought changes. One was death, which would affect marriage. We can see that from what the apostle Paul wrote when explaining that Christians are not under the Mosaic Law. He revealed that death ends a marriage and that the surviving mate can thereafter remarry.-
(Romans 7.1-3: Can it be that you do not know, brothers, (for I am speaking to those who know law) that the Law is master over a man as long as he lives? For instance, a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is alive; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So, then, while her husband is living, she would be called an adulteress if she became another man’s. But if her husband dies, she is free from his law, so that she is not an adulteress if she becomes another man’s.)
6. How did the Mosaic Law reflect God’s view of marriage?
6. The Law that God gave to the nation of Israel provided details about marriage. It allowed for polygamy, a practice that existed even before God gave Israel the Law. However, polygamy was regulated, prohibiting abuses. For example, if an Israelite married a slave and later took a second wife, he could not diminish his first wife’s food, clothing, and marital due. God required that he protect and care for her.
(Exodus 21.9, 10: If he selects her for his son, he is to grant her the rights of a daughter. If he takes another wife for himself, the sustenance, the clothing, and the marriage due of the first wife are not to be diminished.)
We are not under the Law, but we can still see from it Jehovah’s interest in marriage. Does that not help you to esteem marriage?
7, 8. (a) According to Deuteronomy 24:1, the Law contained what provision for divorce? (b) What is Jehovah’s view of divorce?
7. What of divorce under the Law? God maintained his high regard for marriage; yet, as a concession he did allow divorce.
Read Deuteronomy 24.1: “If a man marries a woman but she does not please him because he found something indecent about her, he must write out a certificate of divorce for her, hand it to her, and dismiss her from his house.
An Israelite man could divorce his wife if “he found something indecent about her.” The Law did not describe what was meant by “indecent.” It must have been something shameful or serious, not some petty offense.
(Deuteronomy 23.14: For Jehovah your God is walking about within your camp to deliver you and to hand over your enemies to you, and your camp must be holy, so that he does not see anything indecent in you and turn away from accompanying you.)
Sadly, by Jesus’ day many Jews divorced “on every sort of grounds.”
(Matthew 19.3: And Pharisees came to him intent on testing him, and they asked: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on every sort of grounds?”)
We would surely not want to adopt their attitude.
8. The prophet Malachi revealed God’s view of divorce. That was at a time when it was common for a man treacherously to divorce ‘the wife of his youth,’ maybe to marry a younger, pagan woman. Regarding God’s view, Malachi wrote: “I hate divorce.”
(Malachi 2.14-16: And you say, ‘For what reason?’ It is because Jehovah has acted as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously, although she is your partner and your wife by covenant. But there was one who did not do it, for he had what remained of the spirit. And what was that one seeking? The offspring of God. So guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says Jehovah the God of Israel, “and the one who covers his garment with violence,” says Jehovah of armies. “And guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and you must not deal treacherously.)
That was in line with what God’s Word says about the first marriage: “[A man] will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
(Genesis 2.24: That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
Jesus upheld his Father’s view of marriage, saying: “What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”-
(Matthew 19.6: So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”)
God’s Response to Israel’s Adultery
Both Israel and Judah became unfaithful to Jehovah. They made alliances with pagan nations and practiced false religion. God condemned them for “committing adultery with stones and with trees.” compare )
(Jeremiah 2.13: ‘Because my people have done two bad things: They have abandoned me, the source of living water, And dug for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns, that cannot hold water.’)
(Jeremiah 2.20: ‘For long ago I smashed your yoke And tore off your shackles. But you said: “I am not going to serve,” For on every high hill and under every luxuriant tree You were lying sprawled out, prostituting yourself.)
(Jeremiah 3.1-3: People ask: “If a man sends his wife away and she leaves him and becomes another man’s, should he return to her anymore?” Has that land not been utterly polluted? “You have committed prostitution with many companions, And should you now return to me?” declares Jehovah. “Raise your eyes to the bare hills and see. Where have you not been raped? You sat along the roadways for them, Like a nomad in the wilderness. You keep polluting the land With your prostitution and your wickedness. So showers of rain are withheld, And there is no rain in the spring. You have the brazen look of a wife who commits prostitution; You refuse to feel shame.)
(Jeremiah 3.9: She took her prostitution lightly, and she kept polluting the land and committing adultery with stones and with trees.)
(Ezekiel 16.28: “‘Because you could not be satisfied, you then prostituted yourself to the sons of Assyria, but after prostituting yourself to them, you still did not find satisfaction.)
(James 4.4: Adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever, therefore, wants to be a friend of the world is making himself an enemy of God.)
When they would not change and continued like “a wife who commits prostitution,” God made a choice. He said: “When I saw that, I sent unfaithful Israel away with a full certificate of divorce because of her adultery.”-
(Jeremiah 3.6-8: In the days of King Josiah, Jehovah said to me: “‘Have you seen what unfaithful Israel has done? She has gone up on every high mountain and underneath every luxuriant tree to commit prostitution. Even after she did all these things, I kept telling her to return to me, but she did not return; and Judah kept watching her treacherous sister. When I saw that, I sent unfaithful Israel away with a full certificate of divorce because of her adultery. But her treacherous sister Judah did not become afraid; she too went out and committed prostitution.)
ONLY ONE BASIS FOR DIVORCE
9. How are Jesus’ words at Mark 10:11, 12 to be understood?
9. Someone might ask, ‘Is there ever a basis for a Christian to divorce and remarry?’ Well, Jesus stated his view on divorce: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if ever a woman after divorcing her husband marries another, she commits adultery.”
(Mark 10.11, 12: He said to them: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if ever a woman after divorcing her husband marries another, she commits adultery.”)
(Luke 16.18: “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.)
Clearly, Jesus thus honored marriage and wanted others to do so. A man divorcing his faithful wife (or a woman, her faithful husband) on some pretext and marrying another was committing adultery. This is true because merely divorcing one’s mate does not end the marriage. In God’s eyes, the two would still be “one flesh.” Moreover, Jesus said that a man’s divorcing his innocent wife would make her subject to adultery. How so? Back then, a divorced woman might feel compelled to remarry in order to gain financial support. Such a remarriage would amount to adultery.
The Only Scriptural Grounds
On two occasions, Jesus indicated that the only grounds for a divorce that would free an innocent mate to remarry is por·neiʹa. What does that Greek term mean? Por·neiʹa applies to illicit sexual relations outside Scriptural marriage. It includes adultery, prostitution, and sex relations between unmarried individuals as well as oral and anal sex and the sexual manipulation of the genitals of an individual to whom one is not married.-See The Watchtower, July 15, 2006, “Questions From Readers.”
10. On what grounds can a Christian divorce and be free to remarry?
10. Jesus did state the grounds on which a marriage can be ended: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality [Greek, por·neiʹa], and marries another commits adultery.”
(Matthew 19.9: I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”)
He had made the same point in the Sermon on the Mount.
(Matthew 5.31, 32: “Moreover, it was said: ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ However, I say to you that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of sexual immorality, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.)
On both occasions, Jesus spoke of “sexual immorality.” That expression covers a range of sexual sins outside of marriage: adultery, prostitution, sex relations between unmarried individuals, homosexuality, and bestiality. If, for example, a married man engages in sexual immorality, his wife can decide whether to divorce him or not. If she divorces him, that would end the marriage in God’s eyes.
11. Why might a Christian decide not to get a divorce even though having Scriptural grounds to do so?
11. Significantly, Jesus did not say that a mate’s immorality (por·neiʹa) must absolutely lead to divorce. For example, a wife might choose to maintain the marriage despite her husband’s having been immoral. She might still love him; she might be willing to forgive him and work with him to improve their marriage. Realistically, if she got a divorce but did not remarry, she would face challenges. What of her material and sexual needs? What about loneliness? Are there children to consider? Would a divorce make it harder to raise them in the truth?
(1 Corinthians 7.14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.)
Clearly, the divorced innocent one would face serious issues.
12, 13. (a) What developed in Hosea’s marriage? (b) Why did Hosea take Gomer back, and what can we learn from that as to marriage now?
12. The prophet Hosea’s experience is enlightening. God told Hosea to take a wife (Gomer), who would become “a woman of prostitution and [would have] children of prostitution.” Gomer “conceived and bore [Hosea] a son.”
(Hosea 1.2, 3: When Jehovah started to speak his word through Hosea, Jehovah said to Hosea: “Go, marry a woman of prostitution and have children of prostitution, because by prostitution the land has turned completely away from following Jehovah.” So he went and married Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.)
Later, she had a daughter and a son, both likely the results of her adultery. Despite Gomer’s repeated adultery, Hosea stayed married to her. Finally, she left Hosea and became a slave. Still, he bought her back.
(Hosea 3.1, 2: Then Jehovah said to me: “Go once again, love the woman who is loved by another man and is committing adultery, just as Jehovah loves the people of Israel while they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.” So I purchased her for myself for 15 silver pieces and a homer measure and a half of barley.)
Jehovah was using Hosea to illustrate how He repeatedly forgave Israel’s adulterous course. What might we learn from this?
13. If a Christian’s mate committed immorality, the innocent Christian would face a decision. Jesus said that the innocent one would have a basis for getting a divorce and then be free to remarry. On the other hand, the innocent mate could extend forgiveness. That would not be wrong. Hosea took back Gomer. Once Gomer was back with Hosea, she was not to have relations with any other man. Hosea did “not have relations” with Gomer for a while. ftn.)
(Hosea 3.3: Then I said to her: “You will remain mine for many days. You must not commit prostitution, and you must not have relations with another man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”)
In time, though, Hosea must have resumed marital relations with her, thereby reflecting God’s willingness to accept his people back and resume his dealings with them.
(Hosea 1.11: And the people of Judah and of Israel will be gathered together into unity and will choose for themselves one head and go up out of the land, for great will be the day of Jezreel.)
(Hosea 3.3-5: Then I said to her: “You will remain mine for many days. You must not commit prostitution, and you must not have relations with another man, and I will behave the same way toward you.” It is because for a long time the people of Israel will dwell without a king, without a prince, without a sacrifice, without a pillar, and without an ephod and teraphim statues. Afterward the people of Israel will come back and look for Jehovah their God and for David their king, and they will come trembling to Jehovah and to his goodness in the final part of the days.)
What bearing does that have on a marriage today? If an innocent mate decided to maintain the marriage, resuming marital relations would show forgiveness.
(1 Corinthians 7.3: Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband.)
(1 Corinthians 7.5: Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control.)
That course would cancel what had been grounds for divorce. Thereafter as a couple, they should work to reflect God’s view of marriage.
HONOR EVEN IN A TROUBLED MARRIAGE
14. According to 1 Corinthians 7:10, 11, what may happen in a marriage?
14. All Christians should strive to show regard for marriage, even as Jesus and Jehovah do. However, some may fail to do so, for humans are imperfect.
(Romans 7.18-23: For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, there dwells nothing good; for I have the desire to do what is fine but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good that I wish, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice. If, then, I do what I do not wish, I am no longer the one carrying it out, but it is the sin dwelling in me. I find, then, this law in my case: When I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me. I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, but I see in my body another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law that is in my body.)
Thus, it should not shock us that some Christians in the first century had troubled marriages. Paul wrote that “a wife should not separate from her husband”; yet, in some cases that did occur.-Read
(1 Corinthians 7.10, 11: To the married people I give instructions, not I but the Lord, that a wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled with her husband; and a husband should not leave his wife.)
CAPTION: What can be done to save even a troubled marriage? (See paragraph 15)
15, 16. (a) Even if a marriage has problems, what is the goal, and why? (b) How does this apply if a mate is not a believer?
15. Paul did not explain what led to such a separation. The problem was not, for example, that the husband had been immoral, giving the wife a basis for divorce and remarriage. Paul wrote that a wife who was separated from her husband should “remain unmarried or else be reconciled with her husband.” So the two were still united in God’s eyes. Paul advised that whatever the underlying problems, if sexual immorality is not involved, the goal should be reconciliation. The two could seek Bible-based help from congregation elders. While the elders avoid taking sides, they could offer Scriptural advice.
16. There would likely be more complications if just one mate was a believer seeking to live by God’s standards. In the event of problems, is separation a justifiable solution? As noted, the Scriptures say that sexual immorality is a possible basis for divorce, but they do not outline various grounds for separation. Paul wrote: “If a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.”
(1 Corinthians 7.12, 13: But to the others I say, yes, I, not the Lord: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is agreeable to staying with him, let him not leave her; and if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is agreeable to staying with her, let her not leave her husband.)
That applies in our day too.
17, 18. Why have some Christians stayed in a troubled marriage?
17. Admittedly, there have been instances where an “unbelieving husband” seems to prove that he is not “agreeable to staying with her.” He might be extremely physically abusive, even to the point that she feels that her health or life is in danger. He might refuse to support her and the family or severely endanger her spirituality. In such cases, some Christians have personally decided that, despite what he might say, the mate is not “agreeable to staying” together and that a separation is necessary. But other Christians in comparably difficult situations have not; they have endured and tried to work at improving matters. Why?
18. In such a separation, the two are still marriage mates. If they lived apart, each one would face challenges, as mentioned earlier. The apostle Paul gave another reason for staying united. He wrote: “The unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”
(1 Corinthians 7.14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.)
Many loyal Christians have remained with an unbelieving mate under very trying circumstances. They can testify that doing so was worthwhile in a special sense when their mate became a true worshipper.-Read
(1 Corinthians 7.16: For wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?)
(1 Peter 3.1, 2: In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands, so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect.)
19. Why do successful marriages abound in the Christian congregation?
19. Jesus provided comments about divorce, and the apostle Paul offered inspired advice about separation. Both wanted God’s servants to honor marriage. Worldwide today, the Christian congregation abounds with successful marriages. You can likely find many happy couples in your local congregation. They are made up of loyal brothers who love their wife and devoted wives who prove to be loving mates, all showing that marriage can be honorable. We can rejoice that millions are living proof of the truthfulness of God’s words: “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.”-
(Ephesians 5.31: “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.”)
(Ephesians 5.33: Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.)
[End of article.]