Lesson 49 Explore 1: Your Family Can Be Happy | Happy Family
Part 1:
SECTION 1
Look to God for a Happy Marriage
Look to God for a Happy Marriage
“The one who created them from the beginning made them male and female.”-
(Matthew 19.4: In reply he said: “Have you not read that the one who created them from the beginning made them male and female)
Jehovah God performed the first marriage. The Bible tells us that he made the first woman and “brought her to the man.” Adam was so happy that he said: “This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”
(Genesis 2.22, 23: And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man she was taken.”)
Jehovah still wants married people to be happy.
When you get married, you may think that everything will be perfect. Realistically, though, even a husband and a wife who truly love each other will have some problems.
(1 Corinthians 7.28: But even if you did marry, you would commit no sin. And if a virgin married, such a person would commit no sin. However, those who do will have tribulation in their flesh. But I am trying to spare you.)
In this brochure, you will find Bible principles that, if applied, can make your marriage and family happy.-
(Psalm 19.8-11: The orders from Jehovah are righteous, causing the heart to rejoice; The commandment of Jehovah is clean, making the eyes shine. The fear of Jehovah is pure, lasting forever. The judgments of Jehovah are true, altogether righteous. They are more desirable than gold, Than much fine gold, And sweeter than honey, the honey that drips from the combs. By them your servant has been warned; In keeping them, there is a large reward.)
1 ACCEPT THE ROLE JEHOVAH GAVE YOU
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: The husband is the head of the family.-
(Ephesians 5.23: because a husband is head of his wife just as the Christ is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body.)
If you are a husband, Jehovah expects you to care for your wife tenderly.
(1 Peter 3.7: You husbands, in the same way, continue dwelling with them according to knowledge. Assign them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since they are also heirs with you of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.)
He made her as a complement of you, and he wants you to treat her with dignity and love.
(Genesis 2.18: Then Jehovah God said: “It is not good for the man to continue to be alone. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.”)
You must love your wife so much that you are willing to put her interests ahead of your own.-
(Ephesians 5.25-29: Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for it, in order that he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word, so that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor, without a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation,)
If you are a wife, Jehovah expects you to respect your husband deeply and to help him fulfill his role.
(1 Corinthians 11.3: But I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn, the head of a woman is the man; in turn, the head of the Christ is God.)
(Ephesians 5.33: Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.)
Support his decisions and wholeheartedly cooperate with him.
(Colossians 3.18: You wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the Lord.)
When you do, you will be beautiful in the eyes of your husband and of Jehovah.-
(1 Peter 3.1-6: In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands, so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. Do not let your adornment be external—the braiding of hair and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothing— but let it be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God. For this is how the holy women of the past who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you have become her children, provided you continue doing good and do not give in to fear.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Ask your mate how you can be a better husband or wife. Listen carefully, and do what you can to improve
• Be patient. It will take time for both of you to learn how to make each other happy
2 REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR MATE’S FEELINGS
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: You need to look out for the interests of your marriage mate.
(Philippians 2.3, 4: Do nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with humility consider others superior to you, as you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.)
Treat your mate as precious, remembering that Jehovah requires his servants to be “gentle toward all.”
(2 Timothy 2.24: For a slave of the Lord does not need to fight, but needs to be gentle toward all, qualified to teach, showing restraint when wronged,)
“Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise is a healing.” So choose your words carefully.
(Proverbs 12.18: Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, But the tongue of the wise is a healing.)
Jehovah’s spirit will help you to speak with kindness and love.-
(Galatians 5.22, 23: On the other hand, the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.)
(Colossians 4.6: Let your words always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should answer each person.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Pray for help to remain calm and to keep an open mind before discussing serious matters with your mate
• Think carefully about what you will say and how you will say it
3 THINK AS A TEAM
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: When you get married, you become “one flesh” with your mate.
(Matthew 19.5: and said: ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’?)
But you are still two individuals and may have different opinions. So you need to learn to be united in your thoughts and feelings.
(Philippians 2.2: make my joy full by being of the same mind and having the same love, being completely united, having the one thought in mind.)
Unity is essential when making decisions. The Bible says: “By consultation, plans will succeed.”
(Proverbs 20.18: By consultation, plans will succeed, And by skillful direction wage your war.)
Let Bible principles guide you as you make important decisions together.-
(Proverbs 8.32, 33: And now, my sons, listen to me; Yes, happy are those who keep my ways. Listen to discipline and become wise, And never neglect it.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Share your feelings with your mate, not just information or opinions
• Consult with your mate before making commitments
BE REALISTIC AND OPTIMISTIC
Do not expect perfection of yourself or of your mate.
(Psalm 103.14: For he well knows how we are formed, Remembering that we are dust.)
(James 3.2: For we all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body.)
Choose to focus on your mate’s good qualities. Be confident that Bible principles will work, and be patient.
(2 Timothy 3.16: All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness,)
Jehovah will reward your efforts to follow his advice, and your marriage will become stronger year by year.-
(Galatians 6.9: So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due time we will reap if we do not tire out.)
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• Can my mate sense that I care for him or her more than myself?
• What have I done today to show love and respect to my mate?
Part 2:
SECTION 2
Be Loyal to Each Other
Be Loyal to Each Other
“What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”-
(Mark 10.9: Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”)
Jehovah requires us to “cherish loyalty.”
(Micah 6.8: He has told you, O man, what is good. And what is Jehovah requiring of you? Only to exercise justice, to cherish loyalty, And to walk in modesty with your God!)
This is especially important in your marriage because without loyalty, there is no trust. And trust is essential for love to flourish.
Today, loyalty in marriage is under attack. To protect your marriage, you must be determined to do two things.
1 MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Make sure of the more important things.”
(Philippians 1.10: that you may make sure of the more important things, so that you may be flawless and not stumbling others up to the day of Christ;)
Your marriage is one of the most important things in your life. It deserves priority.
Jehovah wants you to focus on your mate and “enjoy life” together.
(Ecclesiastes 9.9: Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of your futile life, which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility, for that is your lot in life and in your hard work at which you toil under the sun.)
He makes it clear that you should never neglect your mate but, rather, you both should look for ways to make each other happy.
(1 Corinthians 10.24: Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.)
Make your mate feel needed and appreciated.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Make sure that you regularly spend time together, giving your mate your undivided attention
• Think of “we” instead of “me”
2 SAFEGUARD YOUR HEART
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Everyone who keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
(Matthew 5.28: But I say to you that everyone who keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.)
If someone keeps thinking about immoral things, in a sense, he is being unfaithful to his mate.
Jehovah says that you need to “safeguard your heart.”
(Proverbs 4.23: Above all the things that you guard, safeguard your heart, For out of it are the sources of life.)
(Jeremiah 17.9: The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?)
To do this, you must guard your eyes.
(Matthew 5.29, 30: If, now, your right eye is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you. For it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be pitched into Gehenna. Also, if your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off and throw it away from you. For it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to land in Gehenna.)
Follow the example of the patriarch Job, who made a covenant with his eyes never to look with desire at another woman.
(Job 31.1: “I have made a covenant with my eyes. So how could I show improper attention to a virgin?)
Be determined never to view pornography. And be resolved to avoid any romantic attachment to a person other than your mate.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Make it obvious to others that you are completely committed to your mate
• Consider your mate’s feelings, and immediately end any relationship that would make your mate uncomfortable
DO YOUR PART
Be honest with yourself, and identify your weaknesses.
(Psalm 15.2: The one who is walking faultlessly, Practicing what is right And speaking the truth in his heart.)
Do not be embarrassed to ask for help.
(Proverbs 1.5: A wise person listens and takes in more instruction; A man of understanding acquires skillful direction)
If you have immoral thoughts, keep on fighting them. Do not be discouraged.
(Proverbs 24.16: For the righteous one may fall seven times, and he will get up again, But the wicked will be made to stumble by calamity.)
Jehovah will bless your efforts to remain loyal to your mate.
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• How can I make more time for my mate?
• Is my mate my best friend?
Part 3:
SECTION 3
How to Solve Problems
How to Solve Problems
“Have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”-
(1 Peter 4.8: Above all things, have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.)
As you and your mate start your life together, various problems will arise. They may result from differences in how each of you thinks, feels, and approaches life. Or problems may come from outside sources and unexpected events.
It can be tempting to avoid reality, but we are advised in the Bible to face our problems.
(Matthew 5.23, 24: “If, then, you are bringing your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, and go away. First make your peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift.)
You will find the best solutions to your problems by applying Bible principles.
1 DISCUSS THE PROBLEM
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “There is... a time to speak.”
(Ecclesiastes 3.1: There is an appointed time for everything, A time for every activity under the heavens:)
(Ecclesiastes 3.7: A time to rip apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak;)
Make sure that you spend time talking about the problem. Honestly let your mate know how you feel and what you think on the subject. Always “speak truth” with your mate.
(Ephesians 4.25: Therefore, now that you have put away deceit, each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, because we are members belonging to one another.)
Even when strong emotions are involved, resist the urge to fight. A calm answer can keep what should be a simple discussion from escalating into a battle.-
(Proverbs 15.4: A calm tongue is a tree of life, But twisted speech causes despair.)
(Proverbs 26.20: Where there is no wood, the fire goes out, And where there is no slanderer, quarreling ceases.)
Even if you disagree, remain gracious, never forgetting to show love and respect to your mate.
(Colossians 4.6: Let your words always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should answer each person.)
Try to resolve the issue as soon as possible, and do not stop communicating.-
(Ephesians 4.26: Be wrathful, but do not sin; do not let the sun set while you are still angry;)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Set an appropriate time to discuss the problem
• When it is your turn to listen, resist the urge to interrupt. You will get your turn to speak
2 LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another, take the lead.”
(Romans 12.10: In brotherly love have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another, take the lead.)
How you listen is very important. Try to understand your mate’s point of view with “fellow feeling... and humility.”
(1 Peter 3.8: Finally, all of you have unity of mind, fellow feeling, brotherly affection, tender compassion, and humility.)
(James 1.19: Know this, my beloved brothers: Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger,)
Do not just pretend to listen. When possible, put aside what you are doing and give your mate your full attention, or ask if you can discuss this later. If you think of your marriage mate as your teammate rather than your opponent, you will “not be quick to take offense.”-
(Ecclesiastes 7.9: Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Keep listening with an open mind, even if what you are hearing displeases you
• Listen for the message behind the words. Notice your mate’s body language and tone of voice
3 FOLLOW THROUGH
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “There is benefit in every kind of hard work, but mere talk leads to want.”
(Proverbs 14.23: There is benefit in every kind of hard work, But mere talk leads to want.)
Agreeing on a good solution is not enough. You need to follow through on what you both decide. This may involve hard work and much effort, but it will be worth it.
(Proverbs 10.4: Idle hands will cause poverty, But diligent hands bring riches.)
If you work together as a team, you will “have a good reward” for your hard work.-
(Ecclesiastes 4.9: Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their hard work.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Decide what practical steps you will each take to solve your problem
• From time to time, evaluate your progress
TACKLE PROBLEMS TOGETHER
By working together, you can ensure that your marriage will be strong and happy rather than weak and miserable.
(Proverbs 24.3: By wisdom a house is built up, And by discernment it is made secure.)
Look to the future, and do not bring up past problems.
(Proverbs 17.9: Whoever forgives a transgression seeks love, But the one who keeps harping on a matter separates close friends.)
When you cooperate with each other and apply Bible principles, you can handle any problem successfully.
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• What is the most urgent problem that I want to discuss with my mate?
• What can I do to understand how my mate really feels about the problem?
Part 4:
SECTION 4
How to Manage Money
How to Manage Money
“By consultation, plans will succeed.”-
(Proverbs 20.18: By consultation, plans will succeed, And by skillful direction wage your war.)
We all need money to provide our families with the things they need.
(Proverbs 30.8: Remove untruth and lies far from me. Give me neither poverty nor riches. Just let me consume my portion of food,)
After all, “money is a protection.”
(Ecclesiastes 7.12: For wisdom is a protection just as money is a protection, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves the life of its owner.)
As a couple, it may be difficult to talk about money, but do not let money cause problems in your marriage.
(Ephesians 4.32: But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.)
A couple should trust each other and work together when deciding how money will be spent.
1 PLAN CAREFULLY
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Who of you wanting to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense to see if he has enough to complete it?”
(Luke 14.28: For example, who of you wanting to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense to see if he has enough to complete it?)
It is essential that you plan together how you will use your money.
(Amos 3.3: Will two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?)
Decide what you need to buy and how much you can afford to spend.
(Proverbs 31.16: She sets her mind on a field and buys it; She plants a vineyard from her own labors.)
Just because you have the money to buy something does not necessarily mean that you should. Try to avoid debt. Spend only the money you have.-
(Proverbs 21.5: The plans of the diligent surely lead to success, But all who are hasty surely head for poverty.)
(Proverbs 22.7: The rich one rules the poor, And the borrower is a slave to the lender.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• If you have extra money at the end of the month, decide together what you are going to do with it
• If you have a deficit, make specific plans to reduce your expenses. For example, you could prepare your own meals instead of eating out
2 BE OPEN AND REALISTIC
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Care for everything honestly, not only in the sight of Jehovah but also in the sight of men.”
(2 Corinthians 8.21: For we ‘care for everything honestly, not only in the sight of Jehovah but also in the sight of men.’)
Be honest with your mate about how much you earn and spend.
Always consult your mate when making major decisions about your finances.
(Proverbs 13.10: Presumptuousness leads only to strife, But wisdom belongs to those who seek advice.)
Communicating about money will help to maintain peace in your marriage. View your income, not as your personal money, but as family money.-
(1 Timothy 5.8: Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Agree on an amount that each of you can spend without having to consult the other
• Do not wait until a problem arises before you talk about money
YOUR VIEW OF MONEY
Although money is important, do not allow it to disrupt your marriage or cause unnecessary anxiety.
(Matthew 6.25-34: “On this account I say to you: Stop being anxious about your lives as to what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your bodies as to what you will wear. Does not life mean more than food and the body than clothing? Observe intently the birds of heaven; they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they are? Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? Also, why are you anxious about clothing? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they grow; they do not toil, nor do they spin; but I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. Now if this is how God clothes the vegetation of the field that is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe you, you with little faith? So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to wear?’ For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. “Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you. So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.)
You do not need a lot of money to enjoy life. The Bible says: “Guard against every sort of greed.”
(Luke 12.15: Then he said to them: “Keep your eyes open and guard against every sort of greed, because even when a person has an abundance, his life does not result from the things he possesses.”)
Nothing that money can buy is more precious than your marriage. So be content with what you have, and never neglect your relationship with God. If you do this, your family will be happy and you will have Jehovah’s approval.-
(Hebrews 13.5: Let your way of life be free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things. For he has said: “I will never leave you, and I will never abandon you.”)
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• What can we do as a family to stay out of debt?
• When was the last time my mate and I openly discussed our finances?
Part 5:
SECTION 5
How to Keep Peace With Your Relatives
How to Keep Peace With Your Relatives
“Clothe yourselves with... kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.”-
(Colossians 3.12: Accordingly, as God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.)
Marriage creates a new family. Though you will always love and respect your parents, your mate is now the most important person on earth for you. This may be difficult for some of your relatives to accept. But Bible principles can help you to find a balance, so that you can keep peace with your relatives as you work hard to build your new family relationship.
1 MAINTAIN A PROPER VIEW OF YOUR RELATIVES
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Honor your father and your mother.”
(Ephesians 6.2: “Honor your father and your mother” is the first command with a promise:)
Regardless of how old you are, you always need to honor and respect your parents. Recognize that your mate too, as a son or a daughter, needs to give attention to his or her parents. “Love is not jealous,” so never feel threatened by the relationship your mate has with them.-
(1 Corinthians 13.4: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up,)
(Galatians 5.26: Let us not become egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Avoid making broad statements, such as “Your family always puts me down” or “Your mother never likes what I do”
• Try to see things from your mate’s perspective
2 BE FIRM WHEN NECESSARY
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
(Genesis 2.24: That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
When you marry, your parents may feel that they are still responsible for you, and they may want to be more involved in your marriage than they should be.
It is up to you and your mate to agree on what boundaries you will set for them and then lovingly let them know. You can be open and direct without being rude.
(Proverbs 15.1: A mild answer turns away rage, But a harsh word stirs up anger.)
Humility, mildness, and patience will help you build a warm relationship with your relatives and continue “putting up with one another in love.”-
(Ephesians 4.2: with all humility and mildness, with patience, putting up with one another in love,)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• If you are concerned about how much the relatives are involved in your life, discuss it with your mate when things are calm
• Come to a mutual agreement on how you will take care of these matters
TRY TO UNDERSTAND
It is important to understand your parents’ feelings and their point of view. They do not mean any harm with their involvement. They genuinely care about you. It can be difficult for your parents to view you and your mate as an independent family. They may even feel abandoned. But by following Bible principles and by having open communication, you will still be able to honor your parents without compromising your marriage.
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• Why is it natural for my mate’s parents to be interested in our marriage?
• How can I put my mate first and, at the same time, show respect for my parents?
Part 6:
SECTION 6
How Babies Change a Marriage
How Babies Change a Marriage
“Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah.”-
(Psalm 127.3: Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah; The fruit of the womb is a reward.)
The birth of a baby can be both thrilling and overwhelming for a couple. As new parents, you may be surprised to find that most of your time and energy will be used to care for your baby. Lack of sleep along with emotional changes can put a strain on your relationship. Both you and your mate will have to make adjustments to care for your baby and to preserve your marriage. How can the Bible’s advice help you to deal with these challenges?
1 UNDERSTAND HOW A BABY CHANGES YOUR LIFE
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Love is patient and kind.” Also, love “does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked.”
(1 Corinthians 13.4, 5: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury.)
As a new mother, you naturally focus your attention on your baby. However, your husband may begin to feel neglected, so do not forget that he too needs your attention. With patience and kindness, you can help him to feel needed and involved in caring for your child.
“You husbands... continue dwelling with them according to knowledge.”
(1 Peter 3.7: You husbands, in the same way, continue dwelling with them according to knowledge. Assign them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since they are also heirs with you of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.)
Understand that your wife will spend most of her energy on your baby. She has new responsibilities and may be stressed, exhausted, or even depressed. At times, she may even get upset with you, but try to remain calm, because “the one slow to anger is better than a mighty man.”
(Proverbs 16.32: The one slow to anger is better than a mighty man, And the one controlling his temper than one conquering a city.)
Show discernment, and give her the support she needs.-
(Proverbs 14.29: The one who is slow to anger has great discernment, But the impatient one displays his foolishness.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Fathers: Help your wife to care for the baby, even at night. Limit the amount of time you spend on other activities so that you can spend more time with your wife and your baby
• Mothers: When your husband offers to help you with the baby, accept his help. If he does not do the task perfectly, do not criticize him, but kindly show him how to do it
2 STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “They will become one flesh.”
(Genesis 2.24: That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)
Even though you have a new member in your family, remember that you and your mate are still “one flesh.” Make every effort to keep your relationship strong.
Wives, be grateful for your husband’s help and support. Your expressions of appreciation can be “a healing.”
(Proverbs 12.18: Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, But the tongue of the wise is a healing.)
Husbands, tell your wife how much you love and value her. Praise her for the way she cares for the family.-
(Proverbs 31.10: Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far more than that of corals.)
(Proverbs 31.28: Her children rise up and declare her happy; Her husband rises up and praises her.)
“Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.”
(1 Corinthians 10.24: Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.)
Always do what is best for your mate. As a couple, take the time to talk, commend, and listen to each other. Be unselfish when it comes to your sexual relationship. Consider your mate’s needs. The Bible says: “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent.”
(1 Corinthians 7.3-5: Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control.)
So discuss this subject honestly between the two of you. Your patience and understanding will strengthen your relationship.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Do not forget to make time for just the two of you
• Do little things that make your mate feel loved, such as sending a note or giving a small gift
3 TRAINING YOUR BABY
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “From infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation.”
(2 Timothy 3.15: and that from infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.)
Plan what you will do to teach your baby. He has an amazing ability to learn, even before he is born. While still in the womb, your baby can recognize your voice and respond to your emotions. Read to him when he is still an infant. Even though he may not understand what you are reading, it can help him to enjoy reading when he is older.
Your baby is never too young to hear you talk about God. Let him hear you pray to Jehovah.
(Deuteronomy 11.19: Teach them to your children, speaking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.)
Even when you play together, talk about the things that God has made.
(Psalm 78.3, 4: The things we have heard and know, Which our fathers have related to us, We will not hide from their sons; We will relate to the generation to come The praiseworthy deeds of Jehovah and his strength, The wonderful things he has done.)
As your child grows up, he will sense your love for Jehovah and will learn to love him too.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Pray specifically for the wisdom to train your baby
• Repeat key words and ideas to your baby so that he will begin learning early
A BABY CAN HAVE A GOOD EFFECT ON A MARRIAGE
In time, you and your mate will feel comfortable and confident as parents. Raising a child can make you more loving, patient, and kind. If you work together and support each other, having a baby will make your relationship stronger. The words of
(Psalm 127.3: Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah; The fruit of the womb is a reward.)
can come true for you: “The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• During the last week, what have I done to show that I am grateful for what my husband or wife does for the family?
• When was the last time I talked with my mate about us instead of talking only about our baby?
Part 7:
SECTION 7
How to Educate Your Child
How to Educate Your Child
“These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your sons.”-
(Deuteronomy 6.6, 7: These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.)
When Jehovah created the family arrangement, he put parents in charge of their children.
(Colossians 3.20: You children, be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.)
It is your responsibility as a parent to train your child to love Jehovah and to become a responsible adult.
(2 Timothy 1.5: For I recall your unhypocritical faith, which dwelled first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, but which I am confident is also in you.)
(2 Timothy 3.15: and that from infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.)
You must also learn what is in the heart of your son or daughter. Of course, your own example is very important. You can best teach Jehovah’s Word to your child if you first put it in your own heart.-
(Psalm 40.8: To do your will, O my God, is my delight, And your law is deep within me.)
1 MAKE IT EASY FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO TALK TO YOU
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak.”
(James 1.19: Know this, my beloved brothers: Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger,)
You want your children to feel that they can talk to you freely. They must know that you are ready to listen when they need to speak. Create a peaceful environment so that they will find it easy to express themselves.
(James 3.18: Moreover, the fruit of righteousness is sown in peaceful conditions for those who are making peace.)
If they think that you will be harsh or judgmental, they may not be truly open with you. Be patient with your children, and frequently assure them of your love.-
(Matthew 3.17: Look! Also, a voice from the heavens said: “This is my Son, the beloved, whom I have approved.”)
(1 Corinthians 8.1: Now concerning food offered to idols: We know we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Be available when your children need to talk
• Have conversations with your children regularly, not just when there are problems
2 TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “The one who shows insight in a matter will find success.”
(Proverbs 16.20: The one who shows insight in a matter will find success, And happy is the one trusting in Jehovah.)
Sometimes you will have to look beyond your children’s words to understand their true feelings. It is common for young people to exaggerate or to say things they do not really mean. “When anyone replies to a matter before he hears the facts, it is foolish.”
(Proverbs 18.13: When anyone replies to a matter before he hears the facts, It is foolish and humiliating.)
Do not be quick to get upset.-
(Proverbs 19.11: The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, And it is beauty on his part to overlook an offense.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Be resolved not to interrupt or overreact, no matter what your children say
• Try to remember how you felt at their age and what seemed important to you
3 PRESENT A UNITED FRONT
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the instruction of your mother.”
(Proverbs 1.8: Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, And do not forsake the instruction of your mother.)
Jehovah has given authority over children to both father and mother. You must teach your children to respect and obey you.
(Ephesians 6.1-3: Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous. “Honor your father and your mother” is the first command with a promise: “That it may go well with you and you may remain a long time on the earth.”)
Children can sense if their parents are not “completely united in the same mind.”
(1 Corinthians 1.10: Now I urge you, brothers, through the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you should all speak in agreement and that there should be no divisions among you, but that you may be completely united in the same mind and in the same line of thought.)
If you disagree, try not to do so in front of your children because this could undermine their respect for you as parents.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Discuss and agree on how you will discipline your children
• If you and your mate have a different opinion on how to train your children, try to see your mate’s point of view
4 HAVE A PLAN
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Train a boy in the way he should go.”
(Proverbs 22.6: Train a boy in the way he should go; Even when he grows old he will not depart from it.)
Successful education of your children will not happen by accident. You need a training plan, which includes disciplining your children.
(Psalm 127.4: Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man, So are the sons of one’s youth.)
(Proverbs 29.17: Discipline your son and he will bring you rest; And he will give you great pleasure.)
Discipline does not simply mean punishment, but it involves helping your children to understand the reasons behind the rules.
(Proverbs 28.7: An understanding son observes the law, But a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.)
Also, teach them to love Jehovah’s Word and to discern its principles.
(Psalm 1.2: But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, And he reads His law in an undertone day and night.)
This will help them develop a healthy conscience.-
(Hebrews 5.14: But solid food belongs to mature people, to those who through use have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish both right and wrong.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Make sure that your children see God as a real Person whom they can trust
• Help them learn to identify and avoid moral dangers, such as those found on the Internet and social networks. Teach them how to avoid sexual predators
CAPTION: “Train a boy in the way he should go”
JEHOVAH WILL REWARD YOUR EFFORTS
As a parent, you have a special assignment, to teach your child how Jehovah thinks.
(Ephesians 6.4: And fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of Jehovah.)
Jehovah knows that this is a lot of work, but you can be sure that the outcome will bring praise to God and will give you great joy.-
(Proverbs 23.24: The father of a righteous one will surely be joyful; Whoever fathers a wise son will rejoice in him.)
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• How can I make sure that my child can talk to me about anything?
• What can I learn from the way other parents are raising their children?
Part 8:
SECTION 8
When Tragedy Strikes
When Tragedy Strikes
“You are greatly rejoicing, though for a short time, if it must be, you have been distressed by various trials.”-
(1 Peter 1.6: Because of this you are greatly rejoicing, though for a short time, if it must be, you have been distressed by various trials,)
Even though you try your best to have a happy marriage and family, unexpected things can happen that make it difficult for you to keep your joy.
(Ecclesiastes 9.11: I have seen something further under the sun, that the swift do not always win the race, nor do the mighty win the battle, nor do the wise always have the food, nor do the intelligent always have the riches, nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all.)
God lovingly provides help for us when we face difficulties. If you apply the following Scriptural principles, you and your family will be able to cope, even in the worst situations.
1 RELY ON JEHOVAH
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”
(1 Peter 5.7: while you throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.)
Always remember that God is not to blame for your trials.
(James 1.13: When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone.)
As you draw close to him, he will help you in the best possible way.
(Isaiah 41.10: Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’)
“Pour out your hearts before him.”-
(Psalm 62.8: Trust in him at all times, O people. Pour out your hearts before him. God is a refuge for us. (Selah))
You will also find comfort when you read and study your Bible every day. As a result, you will experience how Jehovah “comforts us in all our trials.”
(2 Corinthians 1.3, 4: Praised be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trials so that we may be able to comfort others in any sort of trial with the comfort that we receive from God.)
(Romans 15.4: For all the things that were written beforehand were written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope.)
He promises to give you “the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.”-
(Philippians 4.6, 7: Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.)
(Philippians 4.13: For all things I have the strength through the one who gives me power.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Pray for Jehovah’s help to stay calm and think clearly
• Review all your options and choose the best course available to you
2 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “The heart of the understanding one acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks to find knowledge.”
(Proverbs 18.15: The heart of the understanding one acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks to find knowledge.)
Get all the facts. Find out what every member of your family needs. Talk with them. Listen to them.-
(Proverbs 20.5: The thoughts of a man’s heart are like deep waters, But the discerning man draws them out.)
What if a loved one dies? Do not be afraid to express your emotions. Remember that even Jesus “gave way to tears.”
(John 11.35: Jesus gave way to tears.)
(Ecclesiastes 3.4: A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to wail and a time to dance;)
Getting enough rest and sleep is also important.
(Ecclesiastes 4.6: Better is a handful of rest than two handfuls of hard work and chasing after the wind.)
This will make it easier to cope with a distressing situation.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Before tragedy strikes, make it a habit to communicate with your family. When problems arise, they will feel comfortable talking with you
• Talk to others who may have faced a similar situation
3 GET THE SUPPORT YOU NEED
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “A true friend shows love at all times, and is a brother who is born for times of distress.”
(Proverbs 17.17: A true friend shows love at all times And is a brother who is born for times of distress.)
Your friends want to help you, but they may not know what to do. Do not hold back from telling them what you really need.
(Proverbs 12.25: Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word cheers it up.)
Also, seek spiritual help from those who understand the Bible. The guidance they can give you from the Bible will help you.-
(James 5.14: Is there anyone sick among you? Let him call the elders of the congregation to him, and let them pray over him, applying oil to him in the name of Jehovah.)
You will find the support you need when you regularly associate with people who truly have faith in God and who trust in his promises. You will also find great comfort when you help others who need encouragement. Share your faith in Jehovah and his promises with them. Keep busy by helping other people in need, and do not isolate yourself from those who love you and care about you.-
(Proverbs 18.1: Whoever isolates himself pursues his own selfish desires; He rejects all practical wisdom.)
(1 Corinthians 15.58: Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always having plenty to do in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in connection with the Lord.)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Talk to a close friend and let him help you
• Be specific and honest about your needs
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Even if you feel overwhelmed, keep your mind focused on God. During his trials, Job said: “Let the name of Jehovah continue to be praised.”
(Job 1.21, 22: and said: “Naked I came out of my mother’s womb, And naked I will return. Jehovah has given, and Jehovah has taken away. Let the name of Jehovah continue to be praised.” In all of this, Job did not sin or accuse God of doing anything wrong.)
Like Job, place Jehovah’s name and his will above your own worries. When matters do not turn out as you wish they would have, do not give up hope. Trust God completely. “‘I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you,’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope.’”-
(Jeremiah 29.11: “‘For I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you,’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope.)
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• Do I trust Jehovah completely even in small things?
• What reasons do I have to thank Jehovah every day for his goodness?
Part 9:
SECTION 9
Worship Jehovah as a Family
Worship Jehovah as a Family
“Worship the One who made the heaven and the earth.”-
(Revelation 14.7: He was saying in a loud voice: “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of judgment by him has arrived, so worship the One who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and the springs of water.”)
As you have learned in this brochure, the Bible contains many principles that will help you and your family. Jehovah wants you to be happy. He promises that if you put his worship first, “all these other things will be added to you.”
(Matthew 6.33: “Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you.)
He really wants you to be his friend. Make use of every opportunity to cultivate your friendship with God. This is the greatest privilege a person can have.-
(Matthew 22.37, 38: He said to him: “‘You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment.)
1 STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JEHOVAH
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “‘I will become a father to you, and you will become sons and daughters to me,’ says Jehovah.”
(2 Corinthians 6.18: “‘And I will become a father to you, and you will become sons and daughters to me,’ says Jehovah, the Almighty.”)
God wants you to become his close friend. Prayer is one way to do this. Jehovah invites you to “pray constantly.”
(1 Thessalonians 5.17: Pray constantly.)
He is eager to hear your inner thoughts and concerns.
(Philippians 4.6: Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God;)
When you pray with your family, they will see how real God is to you.
In addition to talking to God, you need to listen to him. You can do this by studying his Word and Bible-based publications.
(Psalm 1.1, 2: Happy is the man who does not walk according to the advice of the wicked And does not stand on the path of sinners And does not sit in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, And he reads His law in an undertone day and night.)
Meditate on what you learn.
(Psalm 77.11, 12: I will remember the works of Jah; I will remember your marvelous deeds of long ago. And I will meditate on all your activity And ponder over your dealings.)
Listening to God also requires that you regularly attend Christian meetings.-
(Psalm 122.1-4: I rejoiced when they said to me: “Let us go to the house of Jehovah.” And now our feet are standing Within your gates, O Jerusalem. Jerusalem is built as a city That is joined together as one. The tribes have gone up to it, The tribes of Jah, According to the reminder to Israel, To give thanks to the name of Jehovah.)
Speaking to others about Jehovah is another important way to strengthen your relationship with him. The more you do this, the closer you will feel to him.-
(Matthew 28.19, 20: Go, therefore, and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.”)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Set aside time every day to read the Bible and pray
• As a family, give spiritual activities priority over entertainment and relaxation
2 ENJOY YOUR FAMILY WORSHIP
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.”
(James 4.8: Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you indecisive ones.)
You need to schedule and follow through on a regular program of family worship.
(Genesis 18.19: For I have come to know him in order that he may command his sons and his household after him to keep Jehovah’s way by doing what is right and just, so that Jehovah may bring about what he has promised concerning Abraham.”)
But more is needed. God must be part of your daily life. Strengthen your family’s relationship with God by speaking about him “when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”
(Deuteronomy 6.6, 7: These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.)
Make it your goal to be like Joshua, who said: “As for me and my household, we will serve Jehovah.”-
(Joshua 24.15: Now if it seems bad to you to serve Jehovah, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve, whether the gods that your forefathers served on the other side of the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are dwelling. But as for me and my household, we will serve Jehovah.”)
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
• Have a consistent training program that takes into account the needs of each member of your family
HAPPY SERVANTS OF JEHOVAH
There is nothing better than worshipping Jehovah God. He is delighted to see you and your family sincerely serving him. As you do this, you will come to love and imitate Jehovah more and more.
(Mark 12.30: and you must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind and with your whole strength.’)
(Ephesians 5.1: Therefore, become imitators of God, as beloved children,)
Having God in your marriage makes your bond with your mate stronger.
(Ecclesiastes 4.12: And someone may overpower one alone, but two together can take a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn apart.)
(Isaiah 48.17: This is what Jehovah says, your Repurchaser, the Holy One of Israel: “I, Jehovah, am your God, The One teaching you to benefit yourself, The One guiding you in the way you should walk.)
You and your family can be happy forever, knowing that “Jehovah your God has blessed you.”-
(Deuteronomy 12.7: You and your households must eat there before Jehovah your God and rejoice in all your undertakings, because Jehovah your God has blessed you.)
ASK YOURSELF . . .
• When was the last time we prayed together as a couple?
• What can I study with my family that will strengthen our faith in Jehovah?
A NOTE TO FAMILY HEADS
• Allow nothing to interfere with your family worship
• Ahead of time, let your family know what will be discussed so that they can prepare
• Make sure that each family member is present
• Create a peaceful atmosphere that all will enjoy
[End of article.]