Lesson 50 Explore 2: What Does the Bible Say About Caregiving for Elderly Parents? Help for Caregivers
The Bible’s answer
Adult children have the important responsibility of making sure that their elderly parents are cared for. The Bible says that adult children should “put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents..., for this is pleasing to God.” New International Version)
(1 Timothy 5.4: But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let these learn first to practice godly devotion in their own household and to repay their parents and grandparents what is due them, for this is acceptable in God’s sight.)
When adult children see to it that their elderly parents are taken care of, they also obey the Bible’s command to honor their parents.-
(Ephesians 6.2, 3: “Honor your father and your mother” is the first command with a promise: “That it may go well with you and you may remain a long time on the earth.”)
The Bible does not contain specific instructions on caring for aging parents. However, it provides examples of men and women of faith who did so. It also offers practical advice that can help caregivers.
How did some family members care for elderly parents in Bible times?
They did so in a variety of ways, depending on the circumstances.
• Joseph lived far from his aging father, Jacob. When Joseph was able to, he arranged for Jacob to move closer to him. Joseph then housed, fed, and protected his father.-
(Genesis 45.9-11: “Return quickly to my father, and you must say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph has said: “God has appointed me lord over all Egypt. Come down to me. Do not delay. You must dwell in the land of Goshen, where you will be near me—you, your sons, your grandsons, your flocks, your herds, and everything you have. I will supply you with food there, for there are yet five years of famine. Otherwise, you and your house and everything you have will come to poverty.”’)
(Genesis 47.11, 12: So Joseph settled his father and his brothers, and he gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the very best part of the land, in the land of Rameses, just as Pharaoh had commanded. And Joseph kept supplying his father and his brothers and the entire household of his father with food according to the number of their children.)
• Ruth migrated to her mother-in-law’s country and worked tirelessly to care for her.-
(Ruth 1.16: But Ruth said: “Do not plead with me to abandon you, to turn back from accompanying you; for where you go I will go, and where you spend the night, I will spend the night. Your people will be my people, and your God my God.)
(Ruth 2.2: Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi: “Let me go out, please, to the fields and glean among the ears of grain behind whoever looks on me with favor.” So Naomi said to her: “Go, my daughter.”)
(Ruth 2.17, 18: So she continued to glean in the field until evening. When she beat out what she had gleaned, it came to about an ephah of barley. Then she took it and went into the city, and her mother-in-law saw what she had gleaned. Ruth also took out and gave to her the food that was left over after she had eaten her fill.)
(Ruth 2.23: So she stayed close to the young women of Boaz and gleaned until the barley harvest and the wheat harvest came to an end. And she kept dwelling with her mother-in-law.)
• Jesus, shortly before he died, designated a caregiver for his mother, Mary, who was apparently then a widow.-
(John 19.26, 27: So when Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother: “Woman, see! Your son!” Next he said to the disciple: “See! Your mother!” And from that hour on, the disciple took her into his own home.)
What practical advice from the Bible can help caregivers?
The Bible contains principles that can help caregivers deal with the sometimes physically and emotionally exhausting challenge of caring for elderly parents.
• Honor your parents. What the Bible says: “Honor your father and your mother.”-
(Exodus 20.12: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live a long time in the land that Jehovah your God is giving you.)
How can the principle be applied? Show your parents honor by allowing them to maintain as much independence as their limitations permit. To the extent possible, let them make their own decisions about their care. At the same time, show them honor by doing what you reasonably can to assist them.
• Be understanding and forgiving. What the Bible says: “The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, and it is beauty on his part to overlook an offense.”-
(Proverbs 19.11: The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, And it is beauty on his part to overlook an offense.)
How can the principle be applied? If an elderly parent says something unkind or seems unappreciative of your care, ask yourself, ‘How would I feel if I faced similar limitations and frustrations?’ When you try to be understanding and forgiving, you may avoid making a bad situation worse.
• Consult others. What the Bible says: “Plans fail when there is no consultation, but there is accomplishment through many advisers.”-
(Proverbs 15.22: Plans fail when there is no consultation, But there is accomplishment through many advisers.)
How can the principle be applied? Do research on how to manage the health problems your parents may have. Find out what resources are available in your community to help with their care. Talk with others who have cared for elderly parents. If you have siblings, consider having a family meeting to discuss your parents’ needs, how to care for them, and how to share the load. Consider having a family meeting to discuss the care of elderly parents
CAPTION: Consider having a family meeting to discuss the care of elderly parents
• Be modest. What the Bible says: “Wisdom is with the modest ones.”-
(Proverbs 11.2: When presumptuousness comes, dishonor will follow, But wisdom is with the modest ones.)
How can the principle be applied? Recognize your limitations. For example, everyone has limited time and energy. These limitations can affect how much you are realistically able to do for your parents. If you find yourself overwhelmed with the demands of caring for elderly parents, consider asking for help from other family members or from professionals.
• Look after yourself. What the Bible says: “No man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it.”-
(Ephesians 5.29: for no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation,)
How can the principle be applied? Although you have a responsibility to take care of your parents, you also have to care for your needs and those of your own family if you are married. You need to eat well. You have to get adequate rest and sleep.
(Ecclesiastes 4.6: Better is a handful of rest than two handfuls of hard work and chasing after the wind.)
And you need to take breaks when possible. By doing these things, you will be in a better position-emotionally, mentally, and physically-to care for your parents.
Does the Bible say that elderly parents must be cared for at home?
The Bible contains no specific direction on whether adult children must care for parents at home. Some families choose to keep their aged parents at home for as long as possible. At some point, though, they may feel that nursing-home care is a better option. The family might meet together to decide what is best for everyone involved.-
(Galatians 6.4, 5: But let each one examine his own actions, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person. For each one will carry his own load.)
[End of article.]